Saturday, May 27, 2006

I thought it'd never happen!

Um, yeah....
So I was out with some friends at Sherlocks, and uh....well, I ended up with a cowboy hat on. I have been in Texas a little over a year now, and I have always sworn you would NOT see me in a cowboy hat. I'm sorry, world, that I have let you down. Please don't swallow me.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Screw myspace...

Yes, I realize I'm fickle. But, myspace really just kinda drives me crazy. So, I'll just go ahead and stick with this blog. As if anyone cares. :-)
ash

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Oh HOLY COW

Ok, so during my trip to Sonoma and the Napa Valley, I was driving along, and thought this was a pretty hill. Now, if you zoom in on the picture, you will notice there is a cow standing at the top of the hill, to the right of a cross. Yah, that's right. How wild is that? So now I call it my holy cow picture. I know, clever.

I can't keep up!

I've realized that I can't keep up with two blogs. So if you want to ever stop in and see what Ashley has to say, check out my myspace site. (My friends made me do it, I promise.)
http://www.myspace.com/winewench

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Hello again friends...

So much has happened over the last few months...and I'd rather not go into it.
I'll just give you the important stuff:
  • Just got my own new place.
  • I'm single again. Still don't know how I feel about that.
  • Finally have my computer up and running again.
  • Had to put one of my horses down that I've had for over 25 years. That has torn me up.
  • My two best friends have moved far away, so now I'm back to knowing pretty much no one in Dallas.

There you have it. I'm sure I'll post more often now, as I have more time, and much more to say. Hope you are all doing well. I've missed you.

Love,

Ash

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ok, seriously...this is funny

Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts
  1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so bad*ss, he has never cried. Ever.

  2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

  3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

  4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

  5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

  6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

  7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
    the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

  8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

  9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a frickin' Indian.

  10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

  11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Additional Chuck Norris Facts
  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

  • Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

  • If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

  • Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

  • Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

  • Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

  • Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

  • The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

  • A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

  • Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

  • Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

  • Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

  • The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

  • Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

  • Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

  • Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

  • Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

A few pics from Christmas...

This is the biggest Christmas ornament I've ever seen. And it's blue (my favorite color) so I had to post it.
Mom took this picture of me. I don't like how fat I look. (This is a classic case of "fishing for compliments" so feel free to chime in at any time).

Here's a pretty centerpiece at my Aunt's log cabin. I.love.red.

Ok, enough pictures. So, Christmas was great. I got to be with my parents, grandparents, and my aunt. I received fabulous gifts and already can't wait till next Christmas. I just love Christmas. I.can't.HELP IT!!!
So...how was your Christmas? Do tell...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Borschenhopper

I.WANT.SNOW. But I'm not gonna get it apparently. It's in the 60's here in Dallas and I don't think there's any hope for snow.

I'm still mad at that stupid lady that stole all my money. I hope she gets her hand chopped off.

My Christmas tree is so pretty. At least it was until one of my friends put a piece of pre-cooked bacon on it. It's now a "Meatmas" tree.

I think I've gained 5 pounds this week. I am a heffer.

I have to work Christmas Eve. And New Years Eve. :-(

I need hugs more often. The only person that consistently tries to hug me is this sweaty guy that works with me. Ick.

I miss my blogger friends. I need to blog more. I promise, I will try to MAKE time for you people!

PS Borschenhopper has absolutely no meaning.